The Uncommitted Blogger

I am truly an uncommitted blogger as I haven't posted in over a year. Believe me, it is not for lack of material! I have spent the last nine months in search of myself, calling into question who I am and what I want from life and my significant relationships. I have found that I have the best friends in the world. They love and support me in ways that I never thought possible. I have made connections with new friends and discovered aspects of myself that I only dreamed I could bring into reality. Still, this has been one of the loneliest years of my life. I continue to doubt myself, question whether or not I am worthy of love, and crave attention. I feel lost and trapped at the same time. I have learned more about why I do what I do and feel how I feel, but the deep connection I seek eludes me. My fear is that no other person can give me what I seek, I must find it within myself. Will I have the courage to navigate the minefield of my soul? Will I ever learn to let go of the outcome and live in the moment? Will I lose everything I hold dear? Will fear rule me for the rest of my life?